What if I told you I loved him?

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What if I told you I loved him? What if I told you that my heart was torn in two? That I could be in love with both of you. That my chest aches in anticipation of seeing his face. That my heart swells in your embrace. How could I not own that I love you both? I love you differently but fully. I don’t expect you to understand. That would be too much for me to ask of you. But then again… this is all too much, isn’t it? You didn’t ask for this and neither did I. All I’ve ever wanted was to love and be loved, and now I have more than I bargained for. I never wanted this for us, I never wanted this for you. Consider this my goodbye, I have to let it all go. Too much has been lost, so much has been sacrificed and too many hearts have been hurt. So farewell my love and may you love and be loved again, but this time in a way that doesn’t hurt.

What could have been.

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I spotted him as the bus pulled up. He was around six-foot-two, the color of hot chocolate with touch of whip cream. He had broad shoulders, strong hands and a beard I unexpectedly loved. It was neat and framed his face. I instantly thought about how his beard would feel tickling my lips. I was blushing as I walked up to him. It was awkward but no more than to be expected. We were both a little reserved, lots of smiling. I stopped at the hotel and he stayed in the lobby while I went upstairs to freshen up. We decided to head out and catch the tail end of brunch at one of his favorite spots.  Things started to ease up a bit. Unlimited mimosas will help most people get comfortable. The champagne bubbles had me warm and relaxed. By the end of our third drink our friendly banter eased into a familiar yet unknown place.

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