What if we never reconnected?

What if we never reconnected? What if you never spotted me at that party? What if I never got your number? What if I never sent you that message? Would we have ever reconnected? I wasn’t sure if it was a date but I was excited at the thought. What if we didn’t live so close? Would it have changed things? What if I never called you my boo? Would we have conversed the same? What if you never made me laugh? My cheeks ache at the thought. I love your smile and your spirit. What if I never got to witness it? We were just catching up right? What if you never touched my hands? We joked about the church hug, but my face burned with the feelings of yesterday. Only yesterday was years ago. Who could have known how it would feel today? I didn’t. I truly didn’t. What if I didn’t allow myself to trust you? Put my faith in you? Let you guide me to wherever we need to go. You know I like control. But you challenged me. What if you didn’t? But somehow deep down you know I needed it. That gentle finger under my chin tilting my head up. Reminding me to meet your eyes. The sparks I left were electric, reverberating through my bones. It was like I was a teen again. I shivered from each gentle touch. How could I feel this way so soon? You told me that I could be myself with you. That I could present you with all of me. What if that was never on the table? Would we be where we are today? Would I want to be your everything? Would I want you to kiss me slowly? Would I want you to love me down to my toes? I wouldn’t. I want it all or nothing. And I do mean all. Give me the bad, the good, even the misunderstood. I’m here for every hour of every day. So yes get lost in me, I wouldn’t want anything less.